Posts Tagged ‘pillar’

Listening to Kids

Friday, September 25th, 2009

The next chapter (in happy children) was about active listening.

I’ll have to admit, this is somewhat new to me.

I think perhaps my counsellor (R) once touched on this. But I didn’t understand.

Its about not only listening ‘yes dear, your upset about school’. Its about really getting behind the issue, firstly understanding the emotion, and not trying to solve the issue.

This is sort of covered in ‘mens are mars’ book.

But this chapter is clear in its depiction of how easy it is to be patronising or lecturing.

It also had an awesome idea about teaching your kids to solve their own issues. That will help M mature more, than me providing the answer.

It was also bring us closer together. Active listening will have the side effect of being the ‘go-to-person’ for M. If she feels that I will understand and comfort, as opposed to solve, it more likely she will bring more tricky things to me. This is a real opportunity for me, to gain real trust with M at an early age, to better help us both through her teenage years (where I think the trust is harder to earn, more sorely needed).

I want active listening to be one of my pillars as a father.