Just finished reading Dad’s place – a new guide for Fathers after Divorce

Its by Jill Burret.

Its a little fatalistic in terms of a father’s role after divorce. Saying the mother is bringing up the child, and giving the values and lessons. And the father is more of a taker, and has little influence.

I think in some regards its reality. I has good ideas about adjusting to that reality. Not trying to change the mother’s mind on topics. Not even trying to make your point, as it wont be listened too.

It focusses a lot on what your motives really are.

It also focusses a lot on the kids, and not putting them in the middle. It has a interesting chapter about not jumping to conclusions about what kids say. Like ‘the new boy friend is mean’ – can really mean a lot of things. Questions the kids isnt going to help. It could be the kids testing your integrity. Even if you say something to the mother, its not going to be acted on. The answer the book proposes is to just listen, and try to pick up on future clues.

The book isn’t clued into the possibility of 50/50 time. So I am not quite so sure of the need to be fatalistic. I am still confident of the court’s support of 50/50 time. But this gives me a livable solution if 50/50 time isn’t granted.

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